How to begin sex chat
When his friend didn't know much, Matthew turned to Google.
He knew he shouldn't just type in "sex," so he typed "bikini" instead.
“Young people really want their parents to talk with them about these topics,” said Nicole Cushman, executive director of Answer, a program of Rutgers University dedicated to providing and promoting access to comprehensive sex education.
“Parents are the most important influence on young people’s decisions regarding sexuality, dating, relationships (and) they feel like they’re not hearing enough from their parents.
For Sawyer, a conversation on love is aided by a Venn diagram with three circles: family, friends and romantic love with the individual in the middle.
“I’m so convinced the only way we learn to be loving persons, (is by) learning to love in those three circles,” she said. The kids are failing so badly in the third circle because no one is teaching them the right way to do it.” Through her Love Ed program, which parents and kids can watch on DVD and then discuss, they learn that the "right way" means treating people with kindness and respect, and that their interests must not overpower the interests of others.
(His mom had installed filters, but they caused problems with innocent searches, so she took them off — something she says she still regrets.) Immediately his screen was flooded with images ranging from somewhat indecent to salacious.
As he tried new search terms, he eventually ended on a hard-core porn site.
The memories of that day are still hauntingly vivid. Then he began Googling again, feeling less awful each time he watched videos.When Sister Kieran Sawyer gives community and church presentations, the 81-year-old nun often begins with the line: "I think about sex all the time." “I always get a big laugh, because that’s not what they think I think about,” Sawyer told the Deseret News. For the past five decades, Sawyer has thought about how to better explain such an important topic through family-based sex education, which teaches a deeper understanding of love and that "talking about sex is really about talking about relationships." That approach has been embraced by other sexuality education experts.The Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States is trying to shed the traditional "sex ed" label in favor of "sexuality education," with less focus on bodily functions and preventing disease, and more discussion about sexual health and relational well-being."(Tell your teens)," Pack says, " 'I'm going to feel awkward around it but I think it's important that we have open conversations about this.' " Matthew knew his parents would have happily answered any of his questions, but he wasn't comfortable asking them.And when they never brought up sex again, he went to his friend.